Hollow attacks on Her sacred land

Alice, Alice, Alice

how transparent you are my diminutive poppet.

For the last year or so Auntie has - admittedly when she has had nothing better to do - dropped various hints and nudges in Alice's direction to remind her that the Blog has been ignored. I have also gone so far as to (horror!) send you a direct communication (outside of this forum) by electronic-mail, I believe they call it.

All have been rudely, and predictably, ignored!

This time Auntie deployed a slightly different strategy and alluded to the fact that the wit and wisdom emanating from (one half of) the contributors to this collective correspondence was attracting "fans" or people who actually enjoyed consuming our vitriol. Low and behold she responds back in a matter of hours!

You are so hungry for adoration aren't you my dear unloved waif?

No fear, I shall continue to conjure up imaginary characters that enjoy your non-sequitor ramblings and might even post the odd "comment" pretending to be one of the six people who bought your last coffee table coaster... sorry, book.

As for your reflections on Auntie's geographic status and future plans, let's attempt to respond shall we?

In the short - but oh so fabulous - time you have known your big Lady role model, She has lived on many continents and dined in the finest establishments. It's what She does my dear. She doesn't "take root" as you do (but unfortunately your hair does not)

She is constantly in need of stimulation; bright lights; interesting people; and constantly evolving horizons. Of course every place that she graces with her sparkle and lavender dust is the better for it; and mediocre little people like you are left the better for knowing Her) but She simply cannot "stand still" my sweet.

We only have one life. Now we know Auntie has lived enough lives for an entire Gloucestershire estate, but that doesn't mean She is going to slow down any time soon.

Your tragic attempts to disparage her beloved Fabulous-fornia simply will not do. I know rejection hurts my dear, but as I said to you at every tea and cakes soiree we enjoyed two blocks from the ocean front all those years ago, some people are simply not "A List" enough.

When Auntie was enjoying back-stage access to the beautiful people, Alice was trudging around East LA with a Kodak instamatic. When Auntie was cascading along the PCH in her 1960 Oldsmobile Cutlass F85, Alice was pouring screen wash into her Nissan Sentra...

Different worlds my dear. You will never understand how thin the air (like your hair) is up here on Auntie's cloud. And for every one of your hollow attacks on the sacred land of Lavender-fornia, there are a multitude of positive people and delicious invites beckoning Her back.

I must get back to my busy day... I have a fabulous luncheon with some important entertainment people in the big city - and I have still to work the moulding clay into my ever vibrant bouffant

toodles my sweet....

Auntie